Friday, May 15, 2009

Safegaurding your marriage

Howdy friends, it's finally here...the weekend that is. I am beside myself, because it has been a LONG week with work and more work at home. Originally our forecast called for a wonderful weekend, but that has all changed and now it is all about rain. I know I shouldn't complain because later this summer we will be needing it. So I am trying to be optimistic and just work between showers. That is if there is "between time". I still would like to get out in the yard and get some flowers in the ground. Will see if it happens or not.

Right now I am in the midst of reading about three books and last night I ran across a book that I had forgotten that I had until I went to packing away books last night. I ran across a book by Kay Arthur on a biblical marriage. So now it resides on my bedside table. I read about two chapters of it last night before calling it a night. I am excited to read this book. It really looks good. This is the book description:

"A Marriage Without Regrets": No matter where you are or where you've been, you can have

This book isn’t about how to have a perfect marriage, or to change our spouses,” says Kay. “It’s about having the kind of marriage where you can stand before God and say, ‘Lord, I was all that You intended me to be.’ Only when we make that kind of commitment can we truly have a marriage without regrets!”

Speaking candidly about her first marriage, her conversion to Christianity, and her longtime marriage to Jack, Kay offers practical advice on effective communication, security and significance, difficult relationships, parenting, and God’s guidelines for divorce and remarriage.

Readers will discover what the Bible says about.

  • resolving conflict
  • understanding each partner’s role
  • improving the sexual relationship
    becoming financially wise

  • respecting and keeping marriage vows

  • This rerelease with a fresh new cover (more than 110,000 copies sold) contains the marriage–building and life–changing material Kay has presented to enthusiastic audiences worldwide—helping thousands of people in many countries experience supportive, Christ–centered marriages.

    No matter how great we think our marriage is, it could always be better. I know after the dimise of my first marriage (which I thought was a great marriage) if you don't stay connected to God, the creator of marriage then when things start falling apart, your marriage will too.

    I often look back at the mistakes that was made in that marriage and my part in them and remind myself, I don't want to make the same mistakes twice. I hope I have learned from that experience, no matter how good it is and how much you love someone else, you have to be practical. I loved my husband and was more than forgiving on many issues that others couldn't believe I could forgive. But my marriage was important to me, as I had made a covenant with God. I honestly believe I was married to this man for a lifetime. However, one thing I learned during the process, that one can't do it alone. I didn't want the divorce but he did and you can't make someone else stay if they don't want it. I believe I wanted the marriage for all the right reasons, and I asked/pleaded with God to save this marriage. However, my ex told me he didn't love me anymore. I felt so hurt and rejected, and I knew that I had never known anyone other than my family that loved me so unconditionally as he did. So what happened!!! I believe what happened is that God wasn't the center for both of us. I believe my ex couldn't or wouldn't deal with the past mistakes he had made, even though I was willing to forgive the past so we could move on to the kind of marriage that God ordains.

    Marriages aren't safeproof unless you put GOD first. I have known for a while that was a major problem in the first marriage. So many hurt feelings, and no abilitly to forgive ourselves. You later, sit and ask yourself what happened? I know I did. I know that me and my ex both played a part in the demise of our once happy home.And I know we will answer to God for that one day. But by God's grace, we can move on and be happy once again. Believe me, I never thought that would happen for me.

    I guess that is why this book has intrigued me. You see, know matter how strong you think your marriage is, Satan has a way of moving in. And he will, unless you both stand firm and arm yourself with the appropriate armour. Be ready to go to battle for your marriage. This book tells us the biblical truths about marriage and how God designed it for us so that we could have a marriage with no regrets. I had one with LOTS of regrets but I NEVER want to have another one that way. God is/will be the center of this marriage.

    Didn't mean to get off on a tangent but I feel so convicted that I have to share with you, that you MUST have God in your marriage. It is the most vital part of your marriage. As the bible says, " What God has put together" know the rest. Please safeguard your marriage by knowing what the bible says about it. Don't be a victim of divorce as I have been.

    It took me a long time and lots of prayer before I could move forth in another relationship. But I have been blessed to find a man who loves ALL of me. I have been blessed to have that twice in my lifetime. (yes, I say twice, because I know my first husband did too, but ....) I want to glorify God in this new marriage. I thank God everyday for my husband and continue to pray that he will be the head of the household as that is God wants. I have been learning to trust again, and that has been hard when you have felt so violated and rejected. But God has a way of healing those wounds. Praise God!

    As I did deeper in this book and also in th WORD, I will be made aware of where/how/why my first marriage when wrong, so that I don't repeat the same mistakes.

    I hope I have given you something to think about.

    Feel free to drop me a note if you feel you have something to share. Would love to hear from you.




    Sue said...

    What a great post Cindy and never apologize for your strong convictions on this topic. You speak from experience and that goes a LONG way!

    Another really great book on marriage that we've found is Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. It also has some really great truths about God being the foundation and central focus of your marriage. We saw him speak at the Focus on the Family Simulcast seminar a couple months ago. VERY good!

    Have a great, albeit soggy, weekend! Love ya xo

    Tracey said...

    Hi Cindy! I love your post!! I am in need of some new books to read for summer and gonna check out the Beth Moore book your reading. Have a great weekend! ((BIG HUGS)) P.S. I will be back when I have more time to explore all of your have so much here to see! :o)

    ~Pam~ said...

    Hi Cindy,
    Great post!! Oh how I wish you and your hubby could go to the Celebrate Your Marriage conference with us, that would be so cool! Maybe next year! ;)
    Love you sweetie, have a super blessed week!